Failed Venture Survivor Pillows

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

In and Out Tray

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

Between Offices

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

The Buck Never Stops.

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

"It's safe to close your eyes and relax...these meetings are safety equipped with front and side airbags."

'FIre me and you're in big trouble. I'm on the endangered species list!'

"Monday is too far from Friday. Yet Friday is too close to Monday."

'My poor darling! Did your boss put you under pressure again?'

"I don't know how you do it. If I had your job, I'd go nuts."

Man with jumper reading 'Caution - Contents under pressure'.

'You're not being fired Jenkins. It's just that all our colleagues have booted you out of the company.'

"My ship had finally come in. . . then it sank!"

"Trying to get new business is killing me..."

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

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