Factory Supervisor Pillows

Health and safety nightmare.

'As part of our growth strategy we intend to build 76% more of them...as soon as we find out what they do!'

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

Quality Control

'I told you not to take a left out of the office - now we're completely lost!'

Auto Assembly. Ernie, I think they fired you because you were assigned to the assembly line but ere often at the high-speed test facility. I'm ambitious. I wanted to be on the fast track. Why did you remove brakes from cars? An article I read said that to achieve success you should "pull out all the stops." And I unnecessarily drove cars around the plant to show the bosses that I'm willing to "go the extra mile." But why did you refuse to deliver components to the assembly line? The arti

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

Others will fight for you

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Boss's Desk Says No!

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

Claus 2.0

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'