Factory Satire Fans Pillows

Acme Coffee Co.

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

End the Winter Blues

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

"It's okay to be ambitious but do you dare to pee on my tree, Jackson!"

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"You calm down."

"You need to stop taking your work home with you. Take mine instead."

'When I said you could name your salary, I meant you could give it a name.'

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

'To cut back on traveling expenses, we're going to start sending you out as an e-mail attachment.'

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'Stevens, get in here. I need a few minutes with the left side of your brain.'

'He insists on being a part of the corporate pipeline.'

"One question, what's a share option?"

Greed.