Factory Satire Fans Pillows

Acme Coffee Co.

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

End the Winter Blues

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"It's okay to be ambitious but do you dare to pee on my tree, Jackson!"

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"And I suppose you expect me to pick that up?"

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

'When I said you could name your salary, I meant you could give it a name.'

'To cut back on traveling expenses, we're going to start sending you out as an e-mail attachment.'

"You calm down."

"You need to stop taking your work home with you. Take mine instead."

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'Stevens, get in here. I need a few minutes with the left side of your brain.'

"One question, what's a share option?"

'He insists on being a part of the corporate pipeline.'