Extraterrestrial Epicurean Gifts

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

'Now, if you can get them when they're still in the clamshell, their adrenalin is way higher which enhances the taste. In fact, here comes one right now!'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Fifteen

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

How am I abducting?

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

Watch the skies: UFO buffs all stare at the sky, yet alien is amongst them.

Holiday Supplies

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"Sir, a bunch of bald-headed, castrated humanoids wearing Nikes just materialised with their luggage back there."

Elevator Music

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

"A glimpse into a cartoon character's dressing room..."

"Wow! You do have a triple A membership!"

An alien tries to hitch a lift at the side of the road

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

"You're getting close. This is the gift shop."

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

Welcome: Skeptics Society

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos - Ancient Aliens

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

' Can I borrow change for the bus? With the cost of gas, I just can't justify buzzing around the city in that thing.'

"They're very time-sensitive."