Exploring Vineyards Prints

Amateurs de vin...

The Vineyard

Wine Lady

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"I make it myself!"

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

'Who's the new guy?'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

Wine tasting

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

'Do you do anything with the old casks?'

Nouveau wine

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'I think we can skip the resume.'

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'The brochure says their wines are distinctive. I think I know why.'

'My first day in our vineyard wasn't a total loss, honey. I found two pennies.'

Need Cash for Alcohol Research.

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

'Sell some? But then there'd be less for me.'