Experiments T-Shirts

"The applications are limitless."

"I'm afraid this whole experiment is about to go south."

"It looks as if Bodecker's project has gotten completely out of hand."

'We've run out of lab rats, Henderson,,,put this on and come with us,'

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"What if these guys in white coats who bring us food are, like, studying us and we're part of some kind of big experiment?"

"We were just as surprised by the test results as you. We're still scratching our heads over it."

'The two groups can't agree on the best route to the cheese, so Dr. Lazarus will introduce another variable to break the impasse.'

'And then instead of feeding me he would ring a little bell...'

"It's a one year timer. It gives an added sense of urgency to my research grant."

"I already wrote the paper. That's why it's so hard to get the results."

Before the linear accelerator.

I love Science.

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

'Of course it's impossible. That's why we're here.'

'We need an Exit strategy.'

The Brief collaboration Alfred Nobel And Thomas Edison

Aging Researchers

'...then we add a smidgin of this - that's less than a dollop, but more than a pinch...'

'Cleaning goes against entropy and the natural order.'

'I was able to neutralize the stress hormone using chocolate.'

Testing the 'All we can do is sit and wait' theory.

'Then, as you can see, we give them some multiple choice tests.'

'Don't be discouraged. Do it over. Monitor the results for three months. Then, to be sure, do it again for another three months. Record your findings. Write your paper.'

"Oops!" "Never say that in a DNA lab!"

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

'What's nice about working in this place is we don't have to finish any of our experiments.'

'Remember, Stevens, things are rarely what they appear to be.'

Pavlov's first experiment.

"That's not what I meant when I asked you to rearrange the DNA!" (Scientist has drawn 'AND' on the board).

Photon Self-Identity Issues

'There's a flaw in your experimental design. All the mice are libras.'

'I don't know how they dispose of our toxic wastes and I don't want to know.'

"You're research is very promising. It's just a shame you're afraid of mice"

"Well, there's another four million dollars down the drain."