Expectant Mom With A Tune T-Shirts

Singing Pregnancy

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pool attached to child's bed.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

Mary, remember that you're pregnant and are now eating for 2,000.

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

An expecting Flower wearing a 'Baby here, arrow t-shirt' saying BUD

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Instant Gratification Cafe.

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

Uterus: One size fits all.

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'