Everyone Is Irish On St. Patrick's Day T-Shirts

"So, if it's not food colouring, how did you make my bologna sandwich green?"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"A pint! I'll need proof, and that's human years, not dog years!"

Best Before 5th Pint.

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

At Ireland's oldst and most respected school of dance, Mrs O'Hara made a terrible discovery... (Book entitled 'The book of Irish dancing vol. 2 - How to incorporate the arms')

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

Just the one...

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

"Of course, it may be one of those sting operations!"

St. Patricks Day Shamrock Outfit

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

Bottle Distillery

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'What happened to your hand.'

"Walking to the pub takes me 5 minutes, but 20 minutes to walk home." "The difference is staggering."

'What did St. Patrick have against snakes?'

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

'Malty tasking.'

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'