Eurovision Skeptic T-Shirts

"At least some good has come out of all this."

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

The Euro - R.I.P.

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

"You wanted to miss the Matisse show."

'Magazine, yes. Book, maybe. Musical dance - never in a million!'

"It's witless, repetitive, and irritating. It's great!"

'Free wi-fi for husbands.'

'I'd sooner vote for the Magna Carta than the E.U. charter !'

Lack of Euro Vision

"Somehow these awards are seeming less special."

Loreen-Euphoria-ESC in Baku

'I would have liked it better if Engelbert Humperdinck sang one of his own songs from Hansel and Gretel!'

"Signal London the continent is cut off!"

Eurovision 2021

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'The doctor from 'daytime television' said I've got gall stones, but I thought I'd better come to you for a second opinion.'

"Didn't make it home from the Eurovision party again this year, then...?"

Lonely Trump Rally in Tulsa

Diogenes and the Greek Crisis

"I can give you a 93.4% assurance that there is less than a 65.6% possibility that this excercise will simply generate 34.8% more meaningless statistics."

'I find you guilty of a most criminal act...' says a judge to a musician playing songs from Eurovision.

Euro free zone

Down with EU!

He's got a lousy voice!

Happy Eurovision!

'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.'

'There's no such thing as a winning lottery ticket, it's all a hoax.'

"A completely new concept in Television, a Vorderman free channel!!"