Etiquette Satirist T-Shirts

To Hell with Protocol, Walk In

Baseball Hat Etiquette.

Harold...your human is open.

Copycats

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

The prying mantis,

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"I'm after the history section."

Inhospitality tent.

'Coleridge'

California Beverages Map

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"God help us, it's that guy."

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

'It's funny because it's true.'

'I'm Anna Nicole Smith. But not THE Anna Nicole Smith!'

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"All the better to ignore you with."

Wine tasters...

"For once I'd like to go on a date where she made eye contact instead of iPhone contact."

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 3

'The Human Comedy needs a laugh track.'

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'