Etiquette Aficionado T-Shirts

Britishness Test - Queue Here.

'No phone calls, please, until you've used up all of your dinnertime minutes.'

'Well, if you're conducting a state visit to Russia, you should at least learn how to pronounce 'Czar.''

'Do you always have to gulp your food down in one go, George? It's so uncivilised!'

'Say 'Please'.'

'A young lady does not say 'Caw Caw', a young lady says, 'Hello, I'm a crow of quality'.'

Refinements of Modern Speech

'Don't get up!'

Why Bob lives alone...

'Please don't call me Mr. Carruthers. Mr. Carruthers is my father. I'm Dr. Carruthers.'

Please pass the salt.

'King? Is that a nickname, like Duke Ellington or Queen Latifah?'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'For you information, hymns are meant to be sung, not whistled.'

"Apart from the matter of pets in the theatre, he's bloody munching as well."

"I'm sorry. A suit AND tie are necessary."

"Ahem. No texting PLZ."

Conversation Topics and Guidelines Approved for this Area...

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

"I hate it when he eats at his desk."

Gentlemen do not expose their knees in the metropolis.

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

'Sir, our chef would like you to know that he's the only one allowed to wear a hat in here!'

'They're called 'ladies in waiting,' not 'those broads downstairs'!'

'Is it okay to drink red wine in brown shoes?'

'But if they do force you to talk, just remember: Say it, don't spray it.'

'Thanks'

Urinal instructions

'That's Ludwig II, not Ludwig JUNIOR!'

'No need to be concerned. After 30 years I'm finally emerging from this cocoon.'

'Well, I for one do not believe common courtesy to the host demands deck shoes.'

'I realize this trial is exciting, but the jury will refrain from doing the wave.'

'That's enough, thank you.'

'Mind if I start without you?'

'Seriously, Earl. It's just embarrassing!'