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AUGUSTUS JOHN

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

ThrEschers.

Escher exhibition first floor

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

I think I know where the noises in your wall are coming from. Pest control.

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

The Boss.

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Flies up the ante!

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

"Why do people talk about a rat's nest like it's a bad thing?"

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

'How long did you try before calling?'

"Down there, by the coffee room...you've got a bad case of summer intern infestation."

Superintendent

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

Pied Piper uses 'Rat Nav'.

Escher flat-pack furniture

Drone Spray

"These door hinges squeak."