Esports Enthusiast Pillows

'Jeff is a tackle on his online college football team.'

"Beats me. He says he's playing e-sports for cryptocurrency."

"Shh, don't disturb him, he's working hard."

"He's in training for the 'E' Olympics."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

Football Chameleon

If nobody had invented graphics

Monica Seles

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

A day at the transgenic races

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Saving a Heart

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

Raheem Sterling

Ratminton

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"How should we divide the teams?"

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

Gary turns 40.

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'