Environmental Consultants T-Shirts

Idea! Uh oh, must hide wallet. People are environmentally conscious. They want products that embrace Mother Nature and respect our limited natural resources. They're tired of a throwaway culture. Coincidentally, we throw out tons of used paper coffee cups and plated, and plastic straws. To say nothing of unfinished plates of food, like muffins, fruit salad, and day-old, half-eaten omelettes. Introducing our new environmentally-conscious earth-friendly menu! Well charge a small 50% premium for al

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

'...I've decided on our efficiency slogan - 'Just do the Business - Eliminate Waste.''

'Couldn't we replace the environment with something usable?'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Natural Cycles in the Office Environment

"I think we need to revisit our packaging policy."

"Hands up those in favour of deferring the firm's environmental policies for another few years."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Businesswoman Empowerment

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'