Enthusiast Of Career Twists T-Shirts

"By the time I was supposed to resume my hockey career, I had discovered ice dancing."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

Balancing work and family

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

The world's most unemployable family

"Have a seat with the other candidates for the tech position but be wary of the spit balls."

"I'm pre-law and pre-med. That way if I foul up I can defend myself."

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

"My rise in the company was solely based on convincing management that I was a nerd in high school."

'Sometimes I don't know if I'm coming or going.'

'A career? A life? Isn't that a conflict of interest?'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'I can see you doing very well in this organization, eventually replacing me. So.. you're fired!'

Blend Schools

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

"Let's honor this young future farmer - he's ready to endure hard labor, long hours and outrageously low farm prices..."

'That's the lawyer in me trying to get out.'

'While you were out I replaced you.'

'We like to find just the right slot for our people.'

University of xylongatnyfexodyl never heard of it

"It just happens...one day you wake up and you find that your best billable hours are behind you."

'We're looking for someone who can multitask - but not during the interview.'

London merchant telling a young employee that if he does not change his behaviour his career will go badly and he may end up becoming mayor

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

"He retired as an executive, returned as a contractor, became a consultant and now he's a brooding presence."

"Yes, but is 'Bigfoot enthusiast' an actual job?"

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"