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"It's the Chef Surprise."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

To do before Saturday...

The Origins of Everything

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Odysseus returns to the Laundromat

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

'This Beef Wellington is as tough as old boots.'

'Frank, it's water.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"Well, I don't care if it is some kind of fancy-schmancy restaurant...if I want ketchup, I'm gonna get ketchup!"

Nick's Greek Restaurant: Special - Nick's own translation of the Odyssey

Survival of the Foodiest

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

'I'll leave it entirely to you...as long as it's a red...for exactly $20...from Napa...made from Merlot...2006 vintage...'

'Does this restaurant allow substitutions?'

No Flash Photography of Meals

"Not just a wheel, Trog, but a wheel of aged Parmigiano Reggiano!"

"Best served at street temperature, delicious served with dustbin chipsor gutter squashed, half eaten kebab..."

Family 'Bored' Games

"Excuse me for a moment. I have to go and refinance this dinner bill."

Treat at the Colinderies.

"I'm looking for a red with a fruity bouquet, lightly peppery on the palate, and will get me smashed in under 3 glasses."

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

"I'm so hungry , I could eat a man." Alison's appetite was legendary.