Enlightenment Seekers T-Shirts

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'I'm sorry, but that will not help you find the eightfold path.'

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

"Don't ask me, I never get off this darn mountain!"

"Nobody talks about transcender issues."

"Oh, a wise guy, huh?"

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Oh, crap.'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

My God, I need to fart.

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Guru.