Enlightenment Explorers T-Shirts

"Possible side effects include disharmony, lack of oneness, and blurred third-eye vision."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'I'll be in Florida for the winter, but I've sublet my cave to a pair of nice Mormon missionaries.'

Buddhist Center

"Master, I'm looking for enlightenment!"

'Embrace nonviolence!', 'I don't see how THAT'S going to help.'

'The truly enlightened don't NEED beer coolers!'

'I'm afraid, my son, that the meaning of life is politics as usual.'

'Reincarated? Oh, no -- I just shaved!'

'I seriously doubt if you've attained Nirvana yet - You've only been fasting and meditating for fifteen minutes.'

Voltaire

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

The Great Leap Forward

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

'As everyone knows, scientists are at their peaks early in their careers.'

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"You've been served."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

Impatient Oil Drillers LTD.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all.'

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

"'I think, therefore I am'? - How illusory can you GET?"

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

'It's okay, they're with me.'