Engineering Prankster Pillows

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

Why are you waving that big magnet over my hard drive?

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

"First day back at work. Don't forget to get some office stationery."

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

"I trust him - he has a science background."

'Checkmate!'

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

The Ascent of Man.

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

Budget Cuts

'Where's your costume and team spirit? You're not paid to enjoy yourself - you should enjoy your work!'

Extremely Realistic Virtual Reality.

"There's a rumour that someone may be resigning today."

Early Scientific Fraud: Young Thomas Edison Tried to Pass off a Container Filled with Fireflies as an Incandescent Bulb.

'Ordinarily I wouldn't do anything like that, Mr. Hubbard, but I just hit $2 million in the lottery!'

Wishing Well

"My dad said I couldn't scare him, so I'm hiding all his data like it was erased. Get ready for a loud scream."

The Hard Drive Ate My Homework.

'The chairman finally notices me. I parked in his parking space.'

"You're back in the office now. Leave your voodoo dolls where they belong... at home."