Engine Tinkerer Prints

Ed's Auto Repair

'It starts up OK, then gets stuck in traffic.'

"I'll never forget one day last July- it started right off."

"I cleaned out your wallet for you, but the engine is still running a little rough."

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

Four mechanics working on a car

"Hey Joe, can you give me a hand?!"

School of easy knocks engine diagnosis, rm 101...School of hard knocks, advanced engine diagnosis, rm 102.

'It isn't the battery.'

Aero engine workshop.

If it ain't broke don't fix it.

"Sometimes, old things need to be replaced.... That was purely an observation and in no way a metaphorical piece of fatherly wisdom."

"So, it's not the battery then."

"Crossed a few lines?"

"Well, there's your problem. The strange clanking sound is just Tom Waits in your engine."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

The Computer Bore

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Painting the Ceiling

Tool Box

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Early cyborg.

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

The Not-So Smart Meter

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.