Employment Tribunal Staff Mugs

'We've been unfairly dissed...'

Mario Draghi

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

'It was great. I hated it.'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'I got a suspended sentence.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'You've been with the company for 20 years Harvey, you make an excellent wage, get 4 weeks paid vacation... I'm going to have to let you go.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."

'Remember, don't discuss the case with the jurors.'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

"Instead of 'fraudulent,' the defendant requests that you refer to him as 'fluent in the ancient language of duplicity!'"

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

Temp Employment Agency. Ah, I see that you have a short attention span.

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

Attorney and killer bee.

'It's not for acting...It's for a testimony in a courtroom.'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

You're Out Of Order

'Must you be so judgemental?'