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E=Emcee Squared

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

"I use to be a human beat-box but found it too humdrum."

Love for the family

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

"NAY!!"

AUGUSTUS JOHN

The Last Dinosaur: States with Gay Marriage Bans.

'I know you're going to inherit the throne from your father, but I want you to go to medical school just in case.'

Life is more than I can bear phobia.

Coronavirus 100k Deaths

This Is Your Life

"We live here. We just dress this way to fit in."

'I'm putting you on a forced exercise program of walking. Hand over your driver's license!'

'Oh s**t, I've been offered a job!'

"Don't overthink it."

'Peace'

"Sadly you don't get a wit by putting two halfwits together!"

"I thought we could try some mindfulness exercises to make you less of a goddamn weirdo."

Gone were the days of emotional restraint.

'Any other suggestions besides blaming it on the Bossa Nova?'

'So, how's the anger management course going, then?'

'I felt that!'

"I've been shot."

"I mean, I believe that you are odd. You certainly qualify for oddness. But that may not be enough. It's a very tough world out there."