Embassy Staff T-Shirts

"No need. I have diplomatic immunity."

'We have some news about the cattle that escaped yesterday. They are seeking asylum in the Indian Embassy.'

'Did your helmet just peep at my helmet?'

Nerve Agent Refugees

US Advises Americans to Leave Ukraine

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Mario Draghi

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

Inclusive speech

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

'These are job perks.'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

Career Choices

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'