Email Excavator Prints

Bush's Hacker

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"No, kid, we don't call these 'attachment icons.' We call them paperclips."

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

Spam in inbox.

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

"I'm so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all."

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

'Lance, what does 'NSFW' stand for?'

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

"In my trashcan again, eh?"

"Our ideal employee will be able to answer email in their sleep."

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

"I hit reply all too many times."

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

"I finally got myself organized and unsubscribed from all those-e-mails."

The Eternal Question

How to apply for a job, then vs. now

"Don't feel bad, my mail server goes down sometimes, too."

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"