Eloquent Exaggerator T-Shirts

'What accounts for my prolific output as a political pundit? They pay me by the word.'

Fishing Tales

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Alarmistclock

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Early accounting scandals.

'...and that's the one that got away!'

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

Four Score and seven years ago...

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

Fish Story

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

"And that one I tagged with a flamethrower from ten yards."

“At what point does it stop being just moths, and start being Pestilence?”

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

'This is what I've been waiting for-a bunch of fishermen telling fish stories.'

"Okay. It's a balloon. Get over it."

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

'Oh, I would say it was at least twice that size, and it had fangs and horns too...'

Fishing Stories

"Hard work, determination, success!"

'You were featured on Rogue Traders'

"When Dennis gets a cold everyone has to know about it"

"...and now a few words from the class know-it-all."

"I said it was INSPIRED by a true story."

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."

"It strikes me you're making a deal more fuss over this than it calls for, Dan'l."