Education Investors T-Shirts

'Regarding the salary we're willing to offer you.. don't expect to get your four-years of college tuition back in one year.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

In the Guru District

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Mario Draghi

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'I highly recommend this painting if you're interested in art as an investment.'

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

Mr. Defner's drive-in algebra class was retro cool, controversial and somewhat effective.

'This graph may need some explaining...'

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."