Eco-gambler Pillows

'I'll meet your carbon output and lower you two units.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Little league world series of poker.

"I love you too, big guy."

Politically Correct Snowperson

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

God's Subcontractors

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Sale! Weed Whackers

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

"I think we have run out of time..."

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

Climate Change

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"I can’t remember the last time he hugged me!"

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

"I solve mathematical problems, program electronic music, analyze environmental issues...but being a renaissance man isn't what it used to be."

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...Greenland's ice sheet is melting faster than previously thought, sea levels could rise..."

'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'

'There is nobody else. I'm afraid we've wiped out all of the other species.'

Ecological balance.