Earnings Explorer Pillows

'It wasn't until Picasso realzed he was earning $2,856 per hour that he began painting all night.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

Great Chinese Dynasties

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

A child runs an equity stand.

Russia Money Laundering

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

wealth investment

US dollar rising and falling.

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

"There she be, lads, the special economic zone!"

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'You have a balanced investment portfolio. Everything you own is losing money equally.'

The two faces of capitalism.

'In the belief that no news is good news, today's financial report has been cancelled.'

Capitalism and Consumers

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

"The stock market went downholl, visited an ice cream parlor, then went bowling and ended the trading day in the pub."

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

Enter your pin into the bubble.

(Stocks) (Bonds) (Off Wall St.)

'Economic Growth' Elephant balancing on top of the world in a circus ring. Accompanied by a 'fat cat' ring master.

"A Japanese company will deliver them to us for �6.75 a thousand."

'I just checked my portfolio and it's worth a small fortune. Unfortunately, I started with a large fortune.'