Earning T-Shirts

Woman with picture of clock with hands on five o clock on desk instead of picture of a loved one.

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Young Frankenstein"

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Fear/Knowledge

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

Eternal Student.

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

37 years in the same position.

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."