Earning T-Shirts

Woman with picture of clock with hands on five o clock on desk instead of picture of a loved one.

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Young Frankenstein"

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Fear/Knowledge

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Eternal Student.

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."