Earning A Ph.d Pillows

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Eternal Student.

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Scientists are sexy

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'I'm pretty sure I have a Ph.D. I think one came bundled with my new computer.'

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

math faculty

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

"I totally meant to do that."

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

"I wrote my thesis on 'Tears of A Clown: Irony or Paradox?'"

Macroscope

"Your research is impressive, but you have too many original ideas to be credible..."

PhD

A scientist with Biology, Chemistry and Science Trivia certificates on his wall

"Doctor, your speech was certainly unabridged."

"Where am I going to find the perfect thesis topic that hasn't been on TikTok already?"

"Why do I always get stuck with being the guardian angel to someone who can't seem to finish his Ph.D.?"

Some New Mortarboard Styles.

"Your doctoral thesis so much reminds me of mine. No, wait a minute. I never had a doctoral thesis."

"A Ph.D. in physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

'Dr Seuss is awarded a PHD.'

'It's kind of depressing: We've spent three years on this research paper, and probably only ten people in the World will ever read it...'

A Guide to Academic Gowns and Hoods

"I wrote my thesis in just one day. Is there something wrong with that?"