Drinking Fine Wine Prints

Amateurs de vin...

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Yoga for Alcoholics

Wine Lady

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Bacchus.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Sauvignon Bonk

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Bubbly

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.