Dreamy Presenter Pillows

'You were talking in your sleep again.'

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

Vanna White: The Later Years.

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Stephen Fry

Television guests' essentials in November.

'It's educational TV, Mom — the redheaded girl in the lime-green bikini has a teaching degree.'

The boy who cried Wolf Blitzer,

"Er. . . anything else?"

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

"Here we mark our data points, but the real fun is connecting the dots!"

Dr. Kapuchnik, I notice that you've been quoting Dr. Phil a lot lately. That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprises.

Jeremy Clarkson.

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

Stephen Fry.

'Fine presentation, Matthews, but, lose the wiggle dance.'

The great Tea Bag Scam!

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

Brighter days are ahead. I love it when I hear that in both news and weather segments of the program.

'That concludes our broadcast.join us again tomorrow for the News at Ten and our pretty faces.'

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

Clive Anderson

"I understand your feelings, dear, but don't you think that Jane Pauley would just as soon see you keep your strength up?"

'Eggs, I'm cooking eggs!'