
"He's never watched Line of Duty."
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"He's never watched Line of Duty."
"I think we need to have that talk to explain how bad stuff happens in the world."
"A lady watching General Hospital on TV wants to know if the fireman's going to be all right."
"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"
'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'
"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"
Benedict Cumberbatch
Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.
'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'
"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."
"Aristophanes explains comedy"
'They all want to play the star.'
Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'
"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"
"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."
"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."
"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."
If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."
"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."
"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"
"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."
Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.
'You know too much!'
Cut!
"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."
University Soapflakes
Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.
Modern Major General
MacGyver's Cat: 'You see, I took your bed and two paper clips and made it my bed.'
"To be or not to be."
'There's nothing on.'
Romeo & Juliet & Ron
Jack Gleeson
"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"
Goldfish bowl on raft...
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