Double Date Mugs

Carbon Dating.

Women's Synchronized Peeing

"Barry is something of a perfunctory sex maniac."

'If I go on a double date, does that mean I'll get to second base?'

"Hey! Not only do I bring a friend, as you asked! I brought my best friend!"

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"The food isn't bad, but I don't care much for the floor show!"

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

Online Dating

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

Sally and Doug had met online and were proving to be very compatible...

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"Just our luck. We finally see the 'feel good' movie of the year and it's December."

Join me in a glass of champagne?

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

Why,yes -I like those long stems!'

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'I told you not to order the chocolate cream surprise.'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

Love wine

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'