Doom Predictors T-Shirts

The Bathos.

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

The End Is Nigh. . . Told You

Beware of the 4th quarter.

"It will be all your fault."

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

Prepper Dog

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Death, Pestilence, (Drugs) War, Famine.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

A self-filling prophecy.

'Well, I'll be darned! It looks like just a lot of the same old stuff from here on out for you.'

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

When a nanosecond is forever.

"Every time Trump wins a primary, we get one step closer."

"Let's save some time, shall we?... Yes, no, for about five years, since I was a small boy, yes, I can start on Monday. Thanks, bye."

doom.com

'Sorry, I don't do financial advice.'

'Took longer than I thought it would.'

'I've been carrying these placards around for over twenty years! It's about time!'

Llamageddon and the Alpacalypse

An doomsayer stands at a waterfalls' edge.

"Your 401(k) is a low-risk investment, other than a few stocks that happen to finance the end of human civilization as we know it."

A Dow Jones Industrial Average Correction Is Near

I survived end of the world after party.

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"