Domestic Leadership Explorer Pillows

"This happens every time someone wants to speak to the head of the household."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'She'll never look for me here.'

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

King Solomon's Pollster.

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

'I can't decide weather to have a feisty or a sassy management style.'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

'I'm not getting the support I need.'

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

'It's a real conundrum. Not sure if I should open it, or beat it.'

"Can I call you back? We're having our favorite argument."

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

Bird Cage Cover over Wife's Head

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

Did you clean the loose snakes out of the shower drain? Medusa's husband.

"...But it's only Thursday. I'll be confused all day now."

"I'd describe myself as generous and empathetic. I've always been good at self delusion."

Kingfisher feeding from a water lamp.

'Dear, would it be all right if I was assertive for a minute?'

"It helps."

"Your air-guitar solos are commendable, Mr Ferguson, but do you have any other examples of how you’ve ‘taken the lead’?"

"Is there anything else I can do wrong for you?"

Stay at Home Yellowstone.

'I knew I shouldn't have brought you along. I haven't had a hit all day.'

"Lift your stems."

"I said, I had the cat declawed."

Good disciplinarian gaining respect vs. scary nutcase.

"Oh, are you attacking from home today?"

'Did you mess with the thermostat again?'

'She never stays mad at me for long.'