Domestic Delegators Pillows

"Marriage is proving to be one task too many, so I've asked Jenkins here to cover that for me."

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

God's Subcontractors

Paperwork No Me Gusta.

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

Incompatible.

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

'Dear, you know how I hate it when you bring your work home.'

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

'We're having an argument. Do you know any battle marches?'

'Ah, Williams, are you familiar with the term ‘Poisoned Chalice'?'

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

'Your three o'clock cancelled, we're still awaiting the Parson verdict, and your husband wants to know if the dishes are dirty or clean.'

"I am not ‘politicizing the issue’ — I simply asked you to pick up your room!"

'It wasn't premeditated.

"I cede the remainder of my time to the ranking member."

'I'll need some people to boss around.'

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"You forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. It's written all over your face."

'I start my day by making a list of everything I need to do . . . and who I can get to do it for me.'

"I learned early, if at first you don't succeed, delegate."

"She leaves wooden-handled knives soaking in the dishwater all night long. Your Honor."

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

'You're three o'clock cancelled, the Parson deal is ending, and your husband wants to know if the dishes are dirty or clean.'

"Why don't we compromise... you admit I'm right and I'll agree with you."

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

"What's wrong?"