Dog Whisperer Wannabe Mugs

Dog-English dictionary.

'I've finally gotten him to come when I call.'

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

"It's hard to describe... Just a general feeling that they're all going to start killing each other any minute now."

Dog obedience school

"Don't forget to hold our your hand and let them sniff you first."

'I'm only in the second grade, Bucky ... I don't know how to speak 'dog' yet.'

Dog on leash: No, you go back.

'What are you doing with that dog whistle if he just followed you home?'

'Honey must not like you! She's never bitten anyone before.'

"Oh, she hears the bark, but all of the nuance goes right over her head."

"Bruno, sit."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Licensed Therapist

"No no, I said sit!!"

"Foster failure"