
'Typical! Asks for a divorce rather than reaching out and grabbing a divorce by the horns!'
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'Typical! Asks for a divorce rather than reaching out and grabbing a divorce by the horns!'
"Whoa! Was that today?"
'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'
'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'
'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'
'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'
'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'
Health and Safety to Ban Marriage
"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."
'She always has to be right.'
"Is everything ok robert? You seem to be a little distant recently."
"I liked you better as my first husband."
"I'm O.K. Are you O.K.?"
'I'm sorry, but according to this there's nothing I can do. It appears your species mates for life.'
'I didn't get the settlement I was hoping for...turns out I'd already spent most of his money while we were married.'
'We've agreed to divide your community property 50-50...50% for your wife and 50% for her attorney.'
"Say those three little words you think I need to hear."
'And I thought I was leaving you.'
"Didn't you find it attractive that he was a "Free Range Chicken'?"
"Death, death, death! That's all he ever talks about!"
'I got custody of the kids.'
"He left me. I doubt it was for another woman, though. He asked me for a letter of recommendation."
'You get all the money and both cars? How is THAT fair?'
"Whoa - that's not the opinion I told you to have."
"In order to separate, one of us has to move out."
'I'm divorcing you...and I want custody of the squids.'
'Currently, my assets are diversified. They're split up among my 4 ex-wives.'
'I agree, Hadley, we've seen very little of each other but that's what I intended when I divorced you.'
"The law says his wife gets half of everything he owns."
'I had a really sexy videotape, but I can't show it to you. My wife taped our wedding over it.'
"Mommy divorced Daddy because Daddy was noncompliant."
"It was ugly, she got custody of the tin cans, chewed tyre and the rusty bike pump... And I got the kids!"
'So when is the moving van coming over for your shoes?'
Divorcees Club - The Joy of Ex.
"I've got to be honest with you. I've been married three times and each of them flew the coop."
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