Divorce Anniversary T-Shirts

'Don't blame the King, Ma'am. This was all his divorce lawyer's idea.'

"The only thing that I like about my 'Ex' is, precisely, that he is my 'Ex'."

I was found guilty, eight of the jury were my ex-wives.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Shepherd and eurydice

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Tartine

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Playing Fetch.

You're my Mona Lisa.

Killer Executive Suits.

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"This place has the best happy hour."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

LAY ZEE FUK

Sloaney Pony.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Demure lady with gloves

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "