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"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

Investing your savings

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

Blowing dust off an order book.

"No, unfortunately I won't be raising your debt ceiling."

"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."

"This is Thompson, he has a black belt in budget control."

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"His department suffered the death of a thousand cuts."

Homeless count.

'He's put in a tender to run down public services.'

'So, who's first?'

On the seventh day the ideation got a little heated.

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

What comes after a trillion

'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

'The diet books really worked for me...I bought so many I couldn't afford any food.'

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

'We can't cut out the middle man. With the government in the picture now we are the middle man.'

BELTS, loose & tight...weight loss clinic and financial advisors.

Heavenly meetings.