Discovering Biological Roots T-Shirts

'No kid, I don't remember your mother! Christ, I've impregnated DOZENS of test-tubes!'

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

'Well doctor that will be the Mabato Tree Snake.'

'There's no stigma in being brought up by apes - I was an adopted child too.'

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

'Last year Frank tried tracing back his roots but came back empty!'

"I've lost touch with my roots, so I'm flying to Omaha but I'll be back Monday."

She's got your eyes.

"My mom was a Holstein-Friesian, and my dad was the King of Diamonds."

"I think my grandmother might have married him and brought him home after the war, since then he's just been sat by the fire..."

"Wow. I share DNA with Moby Dick!"

"There's a small gland in the center of the skull called the pituitary, and . . ."

Son, I'm adopted

'Your DNA test results are now in.'

Bob spent years tracking down his birth parents only to discover the awful truth. They lied. He had never been adopted.

"And this was the man I thought was your father until E-Z Pass records proved that he was in New Jersey when you were conceived."

'He's searching for his roots.'

"Return to Gaza"

Geneology Service: 'I'm afraid you fall into our 'better off not knowing' category....'

'I didn't even know there WERE people like this!'

'Humphries from accounts seemed so familiar.'

'We're in luck - we've discovered a new species!'

"I know her from somewhere. She's either my mother or my daughter."

'Are they related?'

"That's Yipper. He's the bark on the family tree."