Disciplinary Expert T-Shirts

'Billy, I'm not going to argue the semantics of biting. Whether or not you penetrated skin, I'm calling your mother.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

Pull the udder one

Good Luck!

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

Medical Examinations.

Procrastinators Incorporated

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'I never believed in spanking children - until today!'

'Don't come down until your thirty five.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Proctologists' Office Party Games

"Hitler Stalin pact in the Arabian jackal desert"

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

Trust Your Doctor

'I was hoping you could help me with an implant.'

Tonight's Debate. Nature versus Nurture. You believe in heredity over environment? Yep --- I was just born that way.

A proctologist by trade, Bob liked to spend his weekends out in nature.

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

My husband is a world expert, but unfortunately it's only on maganese bronze.

"Thank you for coming. The talks were forthright and useful, and provided an excellent climate in which to resolve our remaining differences."

The emergence of a leader.

Niche Marketing

"I can refer you either to Dr. Basinkski, a noted specialist, Dr. Hodge-Cabot, who is a pioneer in the field, or Charlie, a generic doctor who also does a very nice job."

Let the profit-making begin!

"Can't I go anywhere without someone asking for free medical advice?"

'I wonder if they KNOW about each other?'

"Why is it always me who has to make all the decisions?"

"You need to see a specialer. They're like specialists, but less so."

"We're sending you to a specialist in Holland. The Dutch, as you know, are experts on tulips."