Disaster Preparedness Fanatic Prints

"I learned my lesson after Katrina and the BP oil spill. Basically, it's be ready for just about anything."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

Natural Disasters

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Emergency Underpants

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

Disasters

Hurricane damage to trees

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

Spiro & Pusho painting a room.

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

"....rather than spend millions on a potentially fruitless effort to avoid flooding we've decided to focus on public safety!"

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

'Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today!'

Bad Hobby Combination: The DIY Beehive/Mailbox

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

Eric Cantor, Republican, Fiscal Conservative, Sociopath

Alberta on fire

Flood Rescues

Continental Drift will end in disaster when the Arctic collides with the Antarctic and matter collides with anti-matter and explodes.

Where's the leak then?

You Can't Escape Zombies in a Canoe

"Then we're all agreed. We'll repair the earthquake damage to every structure in town except for this one, which we'll leave as a reminder of the dangers of shoddy construction."

How To Deal With The Upcoming Recession, Inflation, Depression, Ice Age, Greenhouse Effect, Energy Crunch, Population Explosion, and Complete End of the World in the Year 2000.

'Trouble is he doesn't know the difference between lube and putty. . . Our windows fell out!'

Break Glass and Pull in the Event of Flaccid Pecs

'-I told you you made that cat flap too small!'

"No doubt you're asking yourself, what are hatches? And how the heck does one go about battening them down?"

'Quiet! I want to hear the weather report!'

Help on the Way

Retirement Planning. Forget a 401K plan. What your account needs is a 911 plan.