Director Of Communications Gifts

My son is a director of communications for a multinational corporation. He doesn't call me and he doesn't write.

"Looks like we found the issue."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'How fast can you hype?'

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Golfing Boss

Bo're'droom

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

This Message Has No Content

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

The Demise of Tinkerbell

Cut!