Dining T-Shirts

Bottle Opener Strikes A Red Wine Well

Try our frogs' legs

"I'll just eat at the bar."

Chez Pretentious Restaurant - All you can pronounce ?25.

'Avez-vous French toast?'

"You're lucky, Dave. You have talent."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"Can the chef prepare it in some way no one has ever prepared anything before?"

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

"Perhaps, someday, we can share the same table."

The Story of Oh

"House of Porridge"

"We're not a seafood restaurant -- this building has a pretty severe lobster infestation."

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

"The knuckle sandwich looks good."

'I can never remember. Does the cell phone go on the left or the right?'

Text message: You have lettuce in your teeth.

"I'm not trying to change you—I'm trying to enhance you."

'Smoking or nonsmoking? Hormone therapy or nonhormone therapy section?'

Jennifer was never particularly comfortable breast feeding in public so she would often ask Cameron to create a diversion.

Restaurant - Free lunch!* *plus $29.95 service charge for shipping and handling.

"Excuse me, we're out of water."

"Just don't be yourself."

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

"Can I bring you something else to complain about?"

Misfortune Cookie.

'Control group bar and grill - Placebo hour 5-7,'

"O.K., Everybody. Stand back! Let it breathe."

"Do you have a reservation?"

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

'Did you know in some cultures it's considered rude to lick your plate?'

'Excuse me, could everyone be quiet, I'm trying to talk on my cellphone.'

"Perhaps I'm asking too much of you in the way of companionship."