Dining T-Shirts

Bottle Opener Strikes A Red Wine Well

Try our frogs' legs

"I'll just eat at the bar."

'Avez-vous French toast?'

Chez Pretentious Restaurant - All you can pronounce ?25.

"You're lucky, Dave. You have talent."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"Can the chef prepare it in some way no one has ever prepared anything before?"

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

The Story of Oh

"House of Porridge"

"Perhaps, someday, we can share the same table."

"We're not a seafood restaurant -- this building has a pretty severe lobster infestation."

"The knuckle sandwich looks good."

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

'I can never remember. Does the cell phone go on the left or the right?'

Text message: You have lettuce in your teeth.

Thanksgiving Turkey Fortune: "Why the silence?"

"I'm not trying to change you—I'm trying to enhance you."

'Smoking or nonsmoking? Hormone therapy or nonhormone therapy section?'

Jennifer was never particularly comfortable breast feeding in public so she would often ask Cameron to create a diversion.

Restaurant - Free lunch!* *plus $29.95 service charge for shipping and handling.

'Sometimes words just get in the way.'

"And what would suggest, Mr Smartie pants"

"Excuse me, we're out of water."

"Just don't be yourself."

"Can I bring you something else to complain about?"

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

'Did you know in some cultures it's considered rude to lick your plate?'

"Do you have a reservation?"

'Control group bar and grill - Placebo hour 5-7,'

Misfortune Cookie.

"O.K., Everybody. Stand back! Let it breathe."