Dining Out Excitement Pillows

"That's my plate. They said it comes with a side of my choice."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

"What would you recommend pairing with the school of cod fish?"

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

Access Denied!

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

'This isn't soup of the day. Today's Tuesday.'

"We'll get your food going as soon as the exterminators are done in the kitchen."

You can substitute broccoli for the asparagus, but you can't substitute another glass of wine for the fries.

"They're flipping to see who pays for the meal."

'I thought it was my turn to cook, but I didn't make anything because I wanted you to take me out to eat.'

'If you were in a hurry, sir, you shoudn't have ordered the overnight marinade.'

'The house wine sir.'

'Lobster £18.30!!!!' 'Bad reaction to seafood.'

'Hi. I'm Tiffany and I'll be your waitress tonight -- this agreement may be terminated by either party at any time.'

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

Lady playing with bread at the dinner table

At The Skinny Customer Restaurant

'We must be the meatballs.'

'Ryan, the idea is to eat food of each other's body, not our own.'

Cat is curious about food.

"I wanted to make sure you were both happy enough with your life to withstand a major setback with your food."

'One of the steaks fell on the floor - to be fair, you'd better toss for them. . .'

"Actually waiter, we asked for garlic bread."

'I told you the waiter would remember you gave him a 2 cent tip the last time.'

A waiter says:'You guys know you're supposed to text me when you're ready right?' the patrons are dead . . .

'Sorry there's no food. I was kind of hoping you'd bring some.'

A man wearing a sandwich board, reads note: 'Gone out your dinner is at Joe's.'

Circus stilt-man eating dinner off stilts.

"The best hot dogs in the city should be hard to get."

(No caption. Signs read the following: Pizza. Pizza By The Slice. Pizza Cut Up Into Tiny Bites.)

'Unless you rob a bank or get a raise in the next 5 minutes, there's nothing here we can afford.'