Dining Debate Debunker Prints

"E-cigarette or non e-cigarette section."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"You owe me five bucks."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

The Shakespeares Dine Out.

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

Complex Carbs

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

"You ordered mammoth again?"

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

'I wouldn't say you're boring, Chuck, but you're the only person I know who records The Weather Channel.'

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

Weight Loss Clinic: 100% guaranteed.

"When you say 'the same', do you mean worse or better?"

'Will you stop going BAAAAA every time I eat a piece of lamb!'

Members of the legal fraternity at their favourite Chinese restaurant: So Su Me.

'I wouldn't call myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat dead animals either.'