Diner Lover Mugs

"Do you want that with or without angioplasty?"

We don't have poached eggs. How about an elephant tusk?'

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

'Nutrition guidelines'

Toasterman, Pancakeboy, and Mr. Overeasy At The Diner Of The Superheroes WIth Their Archenemy, The Nickel Tipper

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

Today's Special: "The Best of a Bad Situation" stew $3.95."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"So, who ordered the burger platter with endless fries?"

"What do you recommend today?"

"Hope I like it? Are you kidding me? Grass is my FAVOURITE!"

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"We'll all have a piece of this."

An unfortunate potato becomes lunch,

TGI Doomsday.

'No, thanks -- I hate to eat and run.'

We still prepare our food the old fashioned way...from a can!

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

'My name is Melanie, and I drew the short straw, so I'll be your waitress tonight.'

Why It's Called a Waffle

'You want five dollars to buy a cup of coffee?', 'Yeah -- I want to have it at 'Hooters.''

Did one of you forget a jumbo burger and a small fry?

Sorry, Mel. I know he bit the hand, but we're not going to arrest him. She admits she tried to take the bowl away before he was done.

Former class clown and his sidekick torment the substitute waitress.

Early Bird Specials

Dave's Diner - Our Chili Not Sold in Stores!

Coffee made fresh weekly.

'I don't care how old your wife says you act, you still can't get the child's prices.'

'Hey!! Put your plate in the dishwasher!'

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

Diner: Chili $3.95 and Chili By-Products $1.50.

F&E Diner. You asked for a hot breakfast, so I put some jalapenos on your corn flakes!

Today. Salad and Rotisserie Chicken. The last time I had a salad and a rotisseries chicken, I tossed and turned all night.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Cook Book. The cookbooks are just Ernie's way of shifting the blame.