Digital Naturists Pillows

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

Selfie Stick

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

Birds of the Pacific Northwest: Belted Kingfisher

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Digital Fomo!

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

Trick or Tweet

'New Game'

'After we learn the alphabet, are we going to learn how to text?'

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

"Who can we call?"

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

'Let us pray...'

"The dangers of texting while walking #17"

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."